# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Terrible idea I love it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
