cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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