people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
