you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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