I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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