im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
