I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
