Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
