I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
