If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
