your parents love me but you hate me
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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