Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I've blown a few things in my day
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
