Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
