This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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