I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
