I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
