Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think I sprained my soul last night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize