My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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