FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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