if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
