Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
