u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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