its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We had sex on a dog bed..
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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