did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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