Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Randomize
