What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
even my farts smell like vagina
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize