dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
