TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
