So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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