summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize