think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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