You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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