Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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