I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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