I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
