I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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