I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize