it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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