It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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