My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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