I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
