I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Help me help you realize you are a moron
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
