check it out our google latitudes are spooning
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
