my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
