um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
