Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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