dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
