u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
