what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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