Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
