Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
