I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
