I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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