So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
