Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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