I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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