i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize