wanna go halves on a baby?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
3pm strippers are depressing
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
