I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my shit smells like andre
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
