So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize