I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
