So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
