Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
