Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
