I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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